There is only one way under high Heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. What do people want? Not many things but the few things that you wish, you crave with an insistence that will not be denied. Almost every normal adult wants:
- Health and the preservation of life
- Life in the hereafter
- Food
- Sexual gratification
- Sleep
- The well-being of our children
- Money and the things money will buy
- A feeling of importance (the desire to be great)
Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?
“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.”
-Henry Ford
Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment. Each party should gain from the negotiation.
*Compilation taken from “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie
Another thought provoking article to read and digest what it is saying. In my career early in sales I was always trying to get the customer to see my point of view and what I offered instead of looking for the customers view point and what he needed as well as expected that will benefit his organization. Until I started to work with this frame of mind I was not at all successful. I use to worry about my commission because I had a family to care for and feed. However, once I came to realize that first and foremost I had to look for a need or ask what is the thing that gives them the most grief and then see if I could become a problem solver for them and their needs. Guess what the commisions took care of themselves when I started to look through their eyes for the needs and wants and then go work on it for them. I like a quote from President Regan giving advise the George Bush senior when leaving office “A diplomat is one who can disagree without being disagreeable.” This article lends itself to look inward for the correct approach to motivate someone to move in the direction we so desire without being self centered. George Strayer
I simply have to say that I have also read "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and I believe Dale Carnegie diserves some credit for what you put up there. Since some of what you said was straight from the text. I simply think the man (though passed) would like to be recognized for his work. Thank you and you have an amazing day!
Hi, Summer! Please note that I do give Dale Carnegie credit. For a few weeks, I posted numerous excerpts from his book and on each post (including this one) I placed the following citation:
*Compilation taken from “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie